“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” –Carl Rogers
You overachieve and try to prove yourself so no one will realize how flawed you feel. In fact, you are surprised that no one has realized that you are actually an impostor. As a result, you don’t let many people get to know “the real you”, and to be honest, you might not even know who “the real you” is. You end up feeling disconnected and like you don’t fit in.
Perfectionistic to the core, you get upset with yourself if you can’t do something well, even if you are trying something for the first time. You don’t like asking for help because you think you should be able to figure it out on your own. Oftentimes, failure can seem like a fate worse than death, so you avoid failure as much as you can. Along these lines, you like to be in control and feel really uncomfortable (even scared) when you aren’t.
Despite all of your accomplishments, you don’t feel that you contribute enough, are good enough, or that you deserve good things; and you have difficulty getting excited about things because you fear that you will just have farther to fall. To top it all off, when you think about getting some help, you think, if I get help (e.g., go to therapy), it means I’m flawed. You are stuck in a double bind.
I can help you recognize how great you actually are and help you understand that you don’t need to achieve great things to be worthwhile. We can work to let go of perfectionism and control and hopefully find some peace in your life. And, importantly, we can help you figured out who the real “you” is and get you to where you feel comfortable sharing your awesome self with people.